Working 9 to 5.

Last night I went to a Mary Kay party. It takes a special woman to be a successful Mary Kay consultant. A woman not like me. How do I know this? Well, in the time before Tyson I held many a job. Among the TEN jobs I had in college, I worked at not one but THREE telemarketing places (yes, that was me you hung up on), sold jewelry at the mall (that was the best of the sales jobs) and sold t-shirts door to door.

Yeah, t-shirts.

These shirts had coupons on the back for a bunch of free stuff and the proceeds went to the boys and girls club. A nice idea, but unfortunately the shirts were totally ugly and really, who buys a shirt from a door to door salesman?

Well, besides college age boys and families who felt bad for the 20 year old girl wandering around at night in the winter.

Surprisingly, the t-shirt place went out of business and I think I quit two of the telemarketing jobs by calling in sick about 10 times in a row and then just not showing up.

Needless to say, those jobs were conspicuously absent from employment applications.

As you may have noticed there wasn't a sales job that I could resist in those days, so when Mary Kay came a knockin', I signed up. And so did my roommate. After going to a couple motivational meetings and learning the right way to put on nail polish I decided that I didn't like to sell stuff and I definitely wasn't going to win a pink Cadillac by peddling makeup to poor college students.

A few months later I got a letter in the mail that read something like:

Oh no! It looks like you have been TERMINATED for not keeping up your sales. Happily, all you have to do to return to Mary Kay is sell another product...

I forget exactly how it went, but this was basically the gist. So yeah, I got fired from an at home business where I was my own boss.

This was information I neglected to mention to our consultant last night where I laughed too loud, only spent $10, and tried to get everyone else to buy their stuff from me.

Just kidding!