Saturday, August 16, 2008

Celebrity Status

Did I ever tell you guys that I know a celebrity? Yeah, I'm pretty cool eh?

Ok... perhaps know is a bit, um, friendly and even the definition of celebrity may be too strong depending on your opinion.
What I'm saying is that I stalked Donny Osmond when he came to the mall one day.
Let me tell you how it all went down.
I was working at the mall in a jewelry store happily cleaning the cases (ok, I might have been reading a book, but hey, it was a slow night) when I looked up and saw the Donny. My mind instantly flashed to the last time I saw Joseph and the Amazing Technicolor Dreamcoat and I was starstruck. Where was he going? I had to know.
So as soon as he walked around the corner I power walked in my pointy toed high heeled shoes down to the end of the jewelry store and peered down the hall. He was walking toward... Old Navy? Nordstrom? Banana Republic? Hard to tell. I had to carefully and gently prop the upper half of my body over the glass counter to see but again, it was a slow night. No one would come in.
Shoot! Someone's coming in! Of all the unlucky times for the one customer of the night to walk in... I trudged over to help the woman who was not in fact a real customer, just someone who wanted her ring cleaned, and then went back to my post.
Great, I had no idea where he went. He could have gone out an exit down there and I wouldn't have a clue. I went back to my book, mourning the one who got away when egad! Here he comes! I shrank back against the wall. I couldn't let him see me staring at him like some twitterpated teenager. I wasn't even sure if I liked him that much, but he was a star, or something.
So there he went, walking toward the food court. Excellent. Perfect time for my dinner break. I casually wandered his way, secretly stalking my prey when I realized...
I would not be talking to Donny Osmond. I would not be asking for his autograph. Why? Because I am a wimp and I don't want to be annoying. Chagrined, I ordered a 6-inch turkey bacon sandwich from subway and walked back to work casually passing Donny on the way. Maybe he would ask for my autograph. Nope.
I went back to work and continued on with my life telling everyone I knew that I saw Donny Osmond. It was a good day.


  1. Did Mom and Dad tell you that Marie just moved into our ward? They read the records in two weeks ago and everyone's head snapped around to see if she was there (she wasn't). Unfortunately, our ward was just split, but I can say that I was in the same ward as Marie for 3 whole weeks. Pretty cool!

  2. Mari! I'm so glad you found me! That was a hilarious story, by the way! Also, I own a blazer that was once Marie Osmond's. True story. My sister-in-law's best friend is friends with Marie (and yes that blazer was handed down that far to me). So that's my celebrity claim to fame. Oh and also Erika & I once stalked down Larry King at a Provo restaurant. Only we DID end up asking for an autograph! He was very nice about it. But I guess we couldn't pass as twitterpated teenagers anyway because he's not young or hot. Just famous.

  3. You are funny Mari. But i feel your pain with the whole early school thing. My cheerleaders have practice first period... and we go early. So every A day, I'm at Orem high at 6:45am. Shoot me now. I'm not a morning person at all. How is your student teaching going though? Oh, and random question...are you still choir director in our ward?

  4. hahaha.
    Joseph and the technicolor dream coat?! I'd forgotten about that wonderful play!

  5. This post makes me laugh so hard. So funny, how people don't even like certain celebrities, but then want to talk to them anyway. Well, I think it is cool you saw Donny Osmond.